I know most of you want to know about my hiatus from the internet. I am still here, just not as frequently. The demand for keeping an online presence is high. I applaud those who can do it so well. I guess you can say it is like a job once you get the flow of things, but a "fun job" if that makes sense.
Besides me rambling on about that, let's get to the point. After February past March came. I was starting out strong on my Art Request. But then life gave me a gut punch of depression, and I started hating my art. Which started the whole lazy phase in my life. I just became a doom-scrolling, depressed person, envying everyone's success and seeing barely any progress left in me. But why should I complain when I didn't put anything out there?
There were a few breaking moments where I was able to get up confidently. I made a Ratchet and Clank Remix all by myself using LMMS, which is a free DAW to make music, but like I said, self-doubt was there. What if nobody likes it?? Who's gonna view this?? In a sense, I felt demotivated in life in general. I feel like nobody's gonna see it anyway, so I just kept it. I may post it on my Kofi later on, but yeah, that's how March started.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I haven't gotten a job yet. Like a real job. I've been on LinkedIn, Indeed, and tried applying for a few, but it's been a no-show. I wouldn't even get a message from the job saying my application was declined. I wonder if the stories are true that there are more bots on those sites than actual people.
Now April is reeeeeal interesting, almost even a testimonial. I got back on my feet of drawing more Art Requests, and I am also using Vograce to make some keychains, stickers, and standees (mostly for Mother's Day for my Mom) with the money given to me from my birthday. I think I can make some more if you want some, but I don't know if you guys are into that sort of thing. Most are just floral, flowery art... Aaa never mind, back on topic.
So you know about taxes, right? Okay cool. Glad you know what taxes are, cause I didn't. Heck, when I took my earnings of last year to the tax collecting place, they said I was too broke to even register. I made money mostly from YouTube, but to add it all up, I made around $500+ with some change. And they were like, yeah, you need a job to be eligible for taxes. On one hand, I am happy, but on the other, I like nobody wants to hire moiiii, maybe kinda no.
Okay fine, they're right
But I got that news around the end of March when we went or the beginning of April. But that's just the start.
Remember when I asked you, Do you know about taxes? Well, back in Dec. 2024, I accidentally registered for sales taxes permit cause I thought any money I made on Youtube, Etsy, and Kofi, I needed to get it taxed on. This is only if your business is booming and money is flowing. Not when you're broke like me. So a tax bill came around the 7th of April stating that I need to pay 1,700+ on taxes. Money I did not owe. I told my Mom about it. She didn't know what I did or how to fix it. And the same for my Dad (who kinda influenced the whole business thing for me, BUT THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT), I was the one who registered for it, and now I have this bill I need to pay up. No job, no money coming in, Nothing.
I felt at my lowest. I couldn't even race to the computer to find a quick job to fix and pay it up. Oh, also, I forgot to mention that the money was going up by the day. So that was more added pressure on me that I couldn't control. I ain't gonna lie, I wanted to die right then and there. Just end the misery already.
I stayed hidden in my closet the whole day when I heard the news. I could feel the weight of the chains on my wrist burn, and a heavy cloud of smoke over my head. I could see anything pass my failures. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to run, but where? All I know is was I was in debt.
My sister came to comfort me a few times. Mom sent a text saying that it will be okay. It hhelps.A litter. Its kinda eembarrassing cause I am the oldest, and I should be comforting my sister, not the other way around. But in that moment, that thought didn't matter. I just didn't want her to worry about my problems and focus on her school.
Later that day, around 12:00 AM, everyone went to bed. I hadn't gone to wash after all the crying I did. But then, when everything was quiet, I started hearing encouraging words from my heart to my mind.
"It's going to be okay!"
"Jesus will make a way out of no way."
"Just believe in his name."
The voice sounded a lot calmer and cheerful than my depressive butt would sound. I knew it was another voice. Non other than the Holy Spirit itself.
"See Candy, this is what you've been asking for, how do I believe?"
"He will make a way out of no way."
"Trust me."
Okay, I trust you. But if I am being honest, there is the aching feeling that it may not-
"It will"
"Look, I need you to pray the prayer to help calm yourself and believe."
But how
"Candy"
okay.
"Jesus"
Jesus
"Help me."
Help me
"Jesus"
Jesus
"Save me."
Save me Lord
Throughout the night, the Holy Spirit helped me to pray until I was able to rest peacefully.
The next day, my Mom came back from work to help me sort things out. Her job was nice enough for her to work at home that day, which was a blessing. We made the phone call to the office of the sales tax permit, and we told them about the situation. The caller put us on hold for a second and then came back to tell us that they removed my account from their website, and all I need to do is pay up $50 and send it to them. My mom was a little skeptical at first, but the caller repeated that they would remove the account, and I just needed to pay $50.
$50
not $1700+
not $1500+
But $50
HALLELUJAH
I have $50.
I am so blessed right now. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for saving me.
HALLELUJAH AND AMEN
JESUS IS REAL!
So we were able to get it squared away, and now I am grateful. So grateful. And all that happened last week of this month.
Now what.
Well, as you can see, I am going to start blogging about myself. As I am reading the Bible more often, almost daily. I, too, will use this to post daily. Think of this as an online dairy. You get to know more about me, my struggles, things I learned, and cool things I want to share. I also like the fact that on here it's just my blog. If you look left and right on your screen. It's still my blog. I am not being bombarded by the algorithm or trying to mimic others. I am just tired of all of it. All the internet noise. It's so loud sometimes. I miss the good old days of browsing the internet. I bet everyone does. I haven't been liking how social media and their algorithms have been treating me lately. So that's why here I am. Also, I get to customize the look of the blog as much as I want it to look, without too much coding involved, until I learn how to get things going. But for now. I like it here.
Oh, I almost forgot to address my art and content moving forward.
In short, here is the game plan
- Art Request 50+
- Astro Bot YouTube video
- Personal works
After I finish the first 2, I will be able to work on my personal stuff. I have already started a little bit of making a web comic series. I want to have 3-5 chapters ready before sending it to the public. Not to spoil too much, but my web comic will have effects of the chapter comics in the Gravity Rush games. So I had to build entirely in Unity (I tried HTML, CSS, and JavaScript coding, but the website can't handle that much movement, and the image space was too huge for the transition to run smoothly, oof).
That is where and how I have been so far. Thank you for reading this far. I just wanted to let you know where I have been and so on
Hope you all have a blessed day
Sweeteacrummble
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